How to Make a Crummy Movie
I was going to do "Craps: Lesson Three" but with all this talk about movies, with the Oscars coming up, I thought of this:
Why are there so many stupid movies out lately?
I was reading about CURSED, the “new” Wes Craven movie. I used to like his stuff. Now, after reading about this, I think I’ll be skipping even the copying of the DVD.
It sounds like CURSED is one of those movies made by committee. What crap.
They write a script, start filming, then stop in the middle. Clueless executives, who should not be trusted to leave their homes much less be making decisions about art or entertainment, get involved. They piss all over it, like a dog marking their territory. They decide to rewrite the whole thing. Then they start up filming again, with different characters, different relationships, different story lines for crap sake. Then they try to cut all the pieces together and make something whole out of several different halves.
Then after all that what do they do? They cut out all the stuff that makes a horror film a horror film, and turn it into a PG-13 piece of nothing. I mean, really, why would anybody want to see somebody get killed by a monster in a movie about people getting killed by monsters? That would be ridiculous, wouldn't it, sort of like putting explicit sex scenes in a porno film.
Something else about the PG-13 rating too. They're so worried about piracy killing the movie industry? I actually WISH those little bastards were staying at home pirating movies instead of watching them in public with us grownups. I'm ready to start passing out blank DVDs to every stupid kid I see.
You ever tried to watch a horror movie with a bunch of teenage kids who have nothing to do and so go to a movie they know nothing about just because their friends are going? You sit there waiting for the movie watching 20 minutes of freakin’ TV commercials, then you spend the rest of the night gritting your teeth trying not to punch some asshole kid that won't shut up through the whole god damn movie.
I've said this before about "the movie going experience" and how eventually I will have no reason tho go out to a movie theatre? This is one more reason why.
Word to those stupid Clueless Executives; you want to save movies, give people a reason to go again. PG-13 horror movies ain't gonna do it.
Why are there so many stupid movies out lately?
I was reading about CURSED, the “new” Wes Craven movie. I used to like his stuff. Now, after reading about this, I think I’ll be skipping even the copying of the DVD.
It sounds like CURSED is one of those movies made by committee. What crap.
They write a script, start filming, then stop in the middle. Clueless executives, who should not be trusted to leave their homes much less be making decisions about art or entertainment, get involved. They piss all over it, like a dog marking their territory. They decide to rewrite the whole thing. Then they start up filming again, with different characters, different relationships, different story lines for crap sake. Then they try to cut all the pieces together and make something whole out of several different halves.
Then after all that what do they do? They cut out all the stuff that makes a horror film a horror film, and turn it into a PG-13 piece of nothing. I mean, really, why would anybody want to see somebody get killed by a monster in a movie about people getting killed by monsters? That would be ridiculous, wouldn't it, sort of like putting explicit sex scenes in a porno film.
Something else about the PG-13 rating too. They're so worried about piracy killing the movie industry? I actually WISH those little bastards were staying at home pirating movies instead of watching them in public with us grownups. I'm ready to start passing out blank DVDs to every stupid kid I see.
You ever tried to watch a horror movie with a bunch of teenage kids who have nothing to do and so go to a movie they know nothing about just because their friends are going? You sit there waiting for the movie watching 20 minutes of freakin’ TV commercials, then you spend the rest of the night gritting your teeth trying not to punch some asshole kid that won't shut up through the whole god damn movie.
I've said this before about "the movie going experience" and how eventually I will have no reason tho go out to a movie theatre? This is one more reason why.
Word to those stupid Clueless Executives; you want to save movies, give people a reason to go again. PG-13 horror movies ain't gonna do it.
posted by David at
4:10 PM
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