Stuff Update
Well, you can forget all about most of the links below; they're already gone. (except the one about TIME magazine and Battlestar Galactica) Damn that was fast. This whole internet thing goes by too quickly.
So I guess I got to tell you about them myself.
One link was to a story about a guy up north somewhere, illegally burning leaves in his back yard and apparently he catches a rat in his house. Somehow the rat is still alive, so the guy tosses the rat into the fire.
Ick.
But before going to rat-heaven (where each rat is met by 72 virgin rats, every place is a nice dank sewer and the cheese is American and plentiful) the rat apparently gets his revenge. According to the story this rat catches fire and, in the one brilliant flash of intelligence it has in it's entire tiny little rat-life, it leaps out of the pile of burning leaves with its fur on fire and more than a little upset it races back into the guys house, where it hides somewhere behind a couch and promptly sets the house on fire, completely burning it down. To the ground.
Even the police laughed, saying 'He (the guy) ain't smart enough to make up a story like that.'
Another link was to a story about an undertaker who police had found had kept the corpse of a one of his lady customers he had 'worked' on locked in a upstairs bedroom in his house for over two years.
With the air-conditioner and the TV on.
When the police found the slightly smelly, mummified body, he told them that the lady had asked for him to look out for her, that she 'was coming back.' The police believed him because, well, what other reason could there be, right? And there had been no monetary gain for the undertaker; the dead lady had left him nothing (except for a greasy stain on the recliner and a large electric bill)
I wonder what channel she was watching.
Ain't America a great nation?
So I guess I got to tell you about them myself.
One link was to a story about a guy up north somewhere, illegally burning leaves in his back yard and apparently he catches a rat in his house. Somehow the rat is still alive, so the guy tosses the rat into the fire.
Ick.
But before going to rat-heaven (where each rat is met by 72 virgin rats, every place is a nice dank sewer and the cheese is American and plentiful) the rat apparently gets his revenge. According to the story this rat catches fire and, in the one brilliant flash of intelligence it has in it's entire tiny little rat-life, it leaps out of the pile of burning leaves with its fur on fire and more than a little upset it races back into the guys house, where it hides somewhere behind a couch and promptly sets the house on fire, completely burning it down. To the ground.
Even the police laughed, saying 'He (the guy) ain't smart enough to make up a story like that.'
Another link was to a story about an undertaker who police had found had kept the corpse of a one of his lady customers he had 'worked' on locked in a upstairs bedroom in his house for over two years.
With the air-conditioner and the TV on.
When the police found the slightly smelly, mummified body, he told them that the lady had asked for him to look out for her, that she 'was coming back.' The police believed him because, well, what other reason could there be, right? And there had been no monetary gain for the undertaker; the dead lady had left him nothing (except for a greasy stain on the recliner and a large electric bill)
I wonder what channel she was watching.
Ain't America a great nation?
posted by David at
3:55 PM
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