F*uck Every*thing
The other day I was talking to my wife about my daughters’ garbage mouth. My daughter seems to like using the F-word a lot. It’s f *cking this, f *cking that, f *cking EVERYTHING! I don't think she talks so much like this when she's around her friends; no, I think she saves the best for us. And it hasn’t mattered how many times we've told her to stop talking like that, that is sounds trashy and stupid, she still uses that word as often as she uses the word 'like.' (Okay, she sometimes changes to friggin’ this and friggin’ that, but mostly it's f*cking this and f *cking that)
So I told my wife we should do the same. At dinner that night I was going to say something like ‘hey, please pass me the f *cking salt’ or something equally idiotic. I thought it might show her how stupid it sounds.
So we sat down to eat. We were all talking, and we were even getting close to finishing the meal. My son excused himself from the table and went into the back room to play his video game. I don’t even remember how it started but I said something like 'so what's for f*cking dessert?' My wife answered me back in the same way.
Fairly quickly my daughter realized what was going on and joined in. Yes, it was just as silly as it sounds, and soon we were starting to giggle, all while saying 'f *cking' after every other word.
“Who wants more f *cking macaroni?”
“I don’t f *cking want any more.”
“Can I have some more f *cking water?”
“Go f *cking get it yourself. And while you’re f *cking at it get me some too”
As we were talking this trashy way, we were starting to laugh harder and louder. My wife warned us that the front window is open and the neighbors might hear.
“Who gives a f *ck? I don’t f *cking care!”
“What’s on f *cking TV tonight?”
“I don’t f *cking know.”
We were now trying to find inventively new ways to use the f-word.
“I have this f *cking bruise on my f *cking leg that won’t f *cking go away.”
Suddenly, from the back room, my 13 year old son joined in by calling out, “Will you all please shut the f *ck up?!”
As stupid as all this sounds, at this we all were reduced to tears we were laughing so hard.
And of course it didn’t work.
Because last night my son asked if we can play the F-word game again.
So I told my wife we should do the same. At dinner that night I was going to say something like ‘hey, please pass me the f *cking salt’ or something equally idiotic. I thought it might show her how stupid it sounds.
So we sat down to eat. We were all talking, and we were even getting close to finishing the meal. My son excused himself from the table and went into the back room to play his video game. I don’t even remember how it started but I said something like 'so what's for f*cking dessert?' My wife answered me back in the same way.
Fairly quickly my daughter realized what was going on and joined in. Yes, it was just as silly as it sounds, and soon we were starting to giggle, all while saying 'f *cking' after every other word.
“Who wants more f *cking macaroni?”
“I don’t f *cking want any more.”
“Can I have some more f *cking water?”
“Go f *cking get it yourself. And while you’re f *cking at it get me some too”
As we were talking this trashy way, we were starting to laugh harder and louder. My wife warned us that the front window is open and the neighbors might hear.
“Who gives a f *ck? I don’t f *cking care!”
“What’s on f *cking TV tonight?”
“I don’t f *cking know.”
We were now trying to find inventively new ways to use the f-word.
“I have this f *cking bruise on my f *cking leg that won’t f *cking go away.”
Suddenly, from the back room, my 13 year old son joined in by calling out, “Will you all please shut the f *ck up?!”
As stupid as all this sounds, at this we all were reduced to tears we were laughing so hard.
And of course it didn’t work.
Because last night my son asked if we can play the F-word game again.
posted by David at
11:49 AM
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