X-mas
I would like to pause during this festive time of year and take a moment to empathize with you all, as a lot of you are probably going through a lot of holiday stress right about now. And the reason behind all that stress is Xmas, and not the supposedly holy day of spiritual significance, symbolizing belief in hope and love, blah, blah, blah, that a few of you actually claim to celebrate.
I'm talking about the "Federal Holiday slash Xmas," when you get the day off whether you celebrate it or not, when nothing is open except for the movies and Chinese restaurants, which to be honest is nice for Jewish people like myself.
You know what I mean; I'm talking about the holiday that's been clubbing you over the head via every other commercial on TV and the radio since October into buying expensive gifts for every delivery person there ever was, every relative you have even if you can't stand them, and every friend you've ever known even if you haven't spoken all year.
It’s the holiday that makes you feel guilty that you're not spending every bit of the small amount of free cash that you've managed to beat out of your budget, plus whatever line of credit you can lie about and get from your credit cards.
Well, I want to help alleviate some of your worries. Since it doesn't seem to matter how many times in the past that I have asked for people not to give me a "holiday gift," I have decided not to fight it.
I will now be accepting from any of you, my new-found friends, any and all gifts with a list price under the corporate limit of $100. And to make things even easier, any of you who feel pressed for time between family, work, school, that second job and whatever charity work you do only at this time of year, you needn’t fret over having to shop for me.
I’ll accept cash.
Happy holidays. Contact me on where to send your gifts.
I'm talking about the "Federal Holiday slash Xmas," when you get the day off whether you celebrate it or not, when nothing is open except for the movies and Chinese restaurants, which to be honest is nice for Jewish people like myself.
You know what I mean; I'm talking about the holiday that's been clubbing you over the head via every other commercial on TV and the radio since October into buying expensive gifts for every delivery person there ever was, every relative you have even if you can't stand them, and every friend you've ever known even if you haven't spoken all year.
It’s the holiday that makes you feel guilty that you're not spending every bit of the small amount of free cash that you've managed to beat out of your budget, plus whatever line of credit you can lie about and get from your credit cards.
Well, I want to help alleviate some of your worries. Since it doesn't seem to matter how many times in the past that I have asked for people not to give me a "holiday gift," I have decided not to fight it.
I will now be accepting from any of you, my new-found friends, any and all gifts with a list price under the corporate limit of $100. And to make things even easier, any of you who feel pressed for time between family, work, school, that second job and whatever charity work you do only at this time of year, you needn’t fret over having to shop for me.
I’ll accept cash.
Happy holidays. Contact me on where to send your gifts.
posted by David at
2:15 PM
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